Why “Forgiveness” is the Wrong Word

(Plus: 5 Unusual Facts About ‘Forgiveness’ You’ve Likely Never Heard)

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love-funnel-combo

In the darkened theatre and through a veil of tears I watched the drama unfold on the screen.

And I made a soul wish, a prayer that millions upon millions of people around this globe would see and feel what I am seeing and feeling at this moment, a true story of forgiveness of such magnitude as to be immeasurable.

For anyone stuck in the deep hole of being unable to forgive, this scene is the ultimate teacher. If a deed of this magnitude can be forgiven, even 35+ years after the fact, you can find it within you to forgive anyone, including yourself.

I would be hard pressed to imagine anything more horrendous than the deeds for which his victim granted this man forgiveness. But during this deeply moving scene, rather than focus on the deeds, we focus on how these two characters changed during the ensuing years.

In a moment I will tell you how you can see this scene too.

Forgiveness is a ‘Relationship Goal’ all of us could have. Did you know it is also one of the Universal Laws? These Laws are ‘Energies’ with which we can align our daily lives and thus bring about the changes we so fervently wish for.

And therein lies our hope.

Let me ask you; is there an incident, involving another person in your past, that holds you in an emotional prison every time it comes to mind? Be honest because what I am going to share with you can actually set you free from the suffering you may be enduring.

You can stuff these feelings down and become an expert of denial, but the damage is still eroding your soul. So if you are holding onto what you feel are “justified” emotions because someone hurt you and you can’t let go, read on.

5 Forgiveness Facts

The Basis For All Human Behavior Is LOVE

The feel-good emotions originate from feelings of being loved. The feel-bad emotions originate from feelings of lack of love. The common denominator is ‘love’.

Pour all the feel-good emotions into the top of a funnel and at the bottom tip of the funnel they are stripped down to the root from which all the others grow …Love

Pour all the feel-bad emotions into the top of a funnel and at the bottom tip of the funnel they are stripped down to the root from which all of these grow …Lack of love

There Is No Guilt and No Innocence

Everyone, let me repeat, everyone on this planet suffers emotional pain. There is plenty to go around. We all, at times, act out from that source of pain. We don’t understand that this is what we are doing. We are simply reacting to feeling unloved.

In most cases, when we indulge in this behavior, we inadvertently hurt someone else.

So you can be assured that if you can’t forgive someone who caused you emotional suffering, there is someone who can’t forgive you for causing him or her pain. We are all in this together. There is no one who has not caused someone else to suffer in some way.

The Two Big R’s: Revenge and Righteousness

So why then, do you continue to hang onto and savor the pain you think someone deliberately injected into you, like a dose of poison?

Because you believe that if you admit you did something wrong or bad, you will feel lack of love and the result is feeling powerless which takes the form of ‘guilt’. So, for emotional protection, you have to remain righteous.

There are even those of us who think if we enact revenge, we will clean the slate, that two wrongs will make a right.

We enter very dangerous waters in this case. Now it becomes deliberate. It invites escalation and there is no better example of this danger than in the constant wars in which this planet indulges. Big war, little war, it’s all the same. There is never a ‘winner’.

You can’t let go because then you think you’ll have no power, when, in fact, the exact opposite is true. You have actually taken your power (control of self) back.

Ask yourself,”Do I want to be free or do I want to be right?”

Perhaps ‘Forgive’ Is The Wrong Word

For many of us, ‘forgive’ means to exonerate, absolve of responsibility or let someone off the hook. When in reality, no human being has the power to undo what has been done.

We all have to live with our behavior and its consequences. There is another law, the Law of Attraction, which brings the energies we impose on others back to us.

Why not make that energy one of understanding? Think of how you feel when someone tells you they understand?

Understanding is not absolving someone of what they did. It is you knowing that at the very least, they acted out of the pain of lack of love, which you can title with any of the feel-bad emotions.

You know what it feels like to feel unloved. Empathy has huge healing power.

Perhaps you will have the opportunity to engage in a conversation with this person (as happened during the scene in my theatre experience) and further understand where they were coming from at the time and that it really had nothing to do with you, but was a reaction to another incident in their lives or a complete misunderstanding.

Time Heals, It Really Does

We are here to grow. We all change with time.

If you are carrying pain from an incident that occurred a long time ago, you are stuck in limbo, a purgatory on Earth. And you deserve better.

Neither you nor the other party involved is the same as you were at that time. They may not even be aware of something they did or said that affected you in this way. Come to an understanding, either with them in conversation or in your own mind with the aid of what has been written here.

The incredibly moving scene that affected me so much is near the end of the movie “The Railway Man”, starring Oscar winners Colin Firth (The King’s Speech) and Nicole Kidman.

It is my belief and the belief of millions of others, that wherever it is we go when we leave this earth, there is only one emotion; unlimited, unconditional love. Love, is the ultimate healer.

I believe we are here to learn about love, to receive it, to give it, to live without it at times, to feel it’s tremendous power at others and most of all, to learn how to give it to ourselves.

Pain vs. love. Which one do you want to feel, give and be in the circumference of? I don’t know anyone who consciously chooses pain. Align yourself with the Universal Law of Forgiveness (Understanding) and you’ll attract much more love into your life.

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Is It Synchronicity or Coincidence? Find Out

 Just about everyone has experienced Déjà vu.  That very weird feeling and ‘recognition’ that you have ‘done this exact conversation, with the exact same people, in the exact place and timeframe’ before. 

 Does our mind play tricks on us? How can this be? How do you explain this phenomenon?  We are in awe of this mystery.

 This ‘little miracle of synchronicity’ is the Universe’s way of giving us a hint that there’s a vast amount of knowledge out there we don’t understand and could barely wrap our brains around if we did!

 Déjà vu is a synchronistic event that last only seconds but captures your complete attention and perhaps even gives you goose bumps. In actuality, there are many more of these occurrences, subtler perhaps, that can slip by us unrecognized.

 We all know about visualizing the parking space you want and suddenly there it is, or thinking about a person and you get a phone call, email or message from them.  But what about a quote you read, a particular book that caught your attention in the store, a person with you in a line up with whom you struck up a conversation, finding online just the vacation spot you have been imagining for months, etc.? Do you give these wee happenings the same attention you give Déjà vu, or even imagine they could be dancers in the same ballroom?

 Hundreds of these ‘events’ occur daily and we think they are just a coincidence, or we just ignore them. What do you think would happen if youraised your recognition antennae and trained yourself to be conscious of these happenings, acknowledge them and wonder if there is some potential here to utilize?

 I think they are evidence of a bridge, a bridge of communication between you and Spirit/Universe/Creative Source that most of us haven’t yet consciously tapped in to. Imagine how powerful this communication could be for you if you learned to draw on it consciously, learned to recognize it and have it be more than a one-way bridge?

 The Universe is trying to get your attention and tell you that when you learn to speak it’s language, which means to align with it, then nothing is a coincidence, nothing is an accident, everything in your life has a value and a reason for being and everything makes sense. 

 Can’t you just envision what this would all mean when it comes to you choosing the ‘right’ goals, the ones you are meant to attract? And then to be able to unite with those goals, have them manifest in your life without the struggle you perceive goal achievement to be?

 It’s all about alignment and the purposeful connection with synchronicity, not leaving life up to accident or living on autopilot. Your life can be packed from stem to stern with those ideal ‘parking spots’ on demand, so to speak, not as a coincidence. The difference is, you are in the driver’s seat, you don’t have to wait for something to just turn up if you wish hard enough, or dream endlessly about winning the lottery because you think that’s the only way you can have what you want. You are not only in the driver’s seat, but you are directing the traffic!

 I developed Inspirational Goaling as a system of learning how to recognize, align and connect with these Universal energies (Laws), combine them with the magnificence of who you truly are, your value as a human being and your gifts, to help you bring about the amazing life Spirit wants for you.

 You can take back the power over your own life by learning about the energies that are all around you and thus be able to make a life, not just a living.  There is no such thing as coincidence.

 

 If you are moved to take this direction and don’t know where to begin, I would be very happy to talk with you at no cost, honour your courage, give you some resources and help you with a strategy.

© Lynn Moore 2012

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The Law of Obedience ~ Harmony

11 Pillars to Awesome Abundance ~  Part 11

  This week brings you the eleventh and final video in  the 11 Pillars series of Universal Laws in 90 second “nugget” form. 

The Law of Obedience or, as I like to call it, ‘Harmony’.

Enjoy!

 

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Transcript : The Law of Obedience ~ Harmony

11. Obedience (Harmony)

Once the knowledge of the Pillars of Awesome Abundance have been drawn to your attention you simply need to understand that ‘aligning’ your life with them, respecting them, studying them, OBEYING them will bring you the freedom which is your birthright.

Your consciousness has been raised. Align your life according to your values, principles, standards and purpose.  Thoughts are seeds, plant seeds of love and love blossoms, plant seeds of Supply, Attraction, Increase, Sacrifice, Compensation, Success, Non-resistance, Receiving, Forgiveness and Obedience and you will reside in a garden of rare magnificence for you are in harmony with these Universal Laws.

Don’t tell the Pillars of Awesome Abundance about your problems; tell your problems about the Pillars of Awesome Abundance!

Thank you for watching this series.

Keep on goaling!

To personalize and learn how to include “Harmony” in your own goal strategy, you can book a No-Cost Conversation with me. Collaboration works wonders!

On the right sidebar of this page you can choose to sign on to receive my complementary twice-monthly publication, “Goal Postings”, for goal tips and catching up with Atma and me.

The Law of Forgiveness ~ Shifting Perspective

11 Pillars to Awesome Abundance ~  Part 10

  This week brings you the tenth   video in  the 11 Pillars series of Universal Laws in 90 second “nugget” form. 

The Law of Forgiveness or, as I like to call it, ‘Sifting Perspective’.

Enjoy!

 

Click Here to Play Video

 Transcript : The Law of Forgiveness ~ Shifting Perspective

Would you eat poison everyday expecting someone else to get sick from it?

The poison is your resentment of that someone.  Your forgiveness is throwing the poison away not telling them what they did is okay. Until you do this you are under the power of that person. You formed an opinion of their mistake and you resent it.

There is an ‘energy’ to that resentment. Forgiveness is dispelling that energy. That’s when you’ve taken your power back.  To dispel that energy, you simply ban thoughts of forming opinions, judging that person.  The offender simply did what they knew how to do at that time.. As they, like you, continue to make mistakes and grow and know better, they, like you, will do better.

None of us are free from making mistakes. So, when you are betrayed, as we all have been, don’t waste your time thinking about it, instead think about what you are grateful for, the good people in your life, what you are going to achieve, etc.

To paraphrase a definition of forgiveness found in A Course in Miracles, Forgiveness is a change in how you look at a wrongdoing so that the obstruction to your awareness of love is removed.

Keep on goaling!

To personalize and learn how to include “Shifting Perspective” in your own goal strategy, you can book a No-Cost Goal Strategy Session with me. Collaboration works wonders!

On the right sidebar of this page you can choose to sign on to receive my complementary twice-monthly publication, “Goal Postings”, for goal tips and catching up with Atma and me.

Keep on goaling!

I’m Lynn Moore, the Inspirational Goaling Coach

The Law of Receiving ~ Echoing

11 Pillars to Awesome Abundance ~  Part 9

This week brings you the ninth video in  the 11 Pillars series of Universal Laws in 90 second “nugget” form. 

The Law of Receiving or, as I like to call it, ‘Echoing’.

Enjoy!

 

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 Transcript : The Law of Receiving ~ Echoing

The energy of giving echoes back to you. Every time. There is no excuse not to give, no reason for putting it off. Smiles, appreciation, holding a door open, hugs, greetings, encouragement, courtesy, love; anyone can give these freely. True giving is without expectation of return, not for money, self-esteem, friendship, love, or because you feel unworthy of payment, etc. Oh, you certainly can receive these things, but not if you’re making deals in your mind or keeping a tally sheet. You must give wisely; be careful what you give to those who may be taking advantage of you or those who choose not to help themselves, or those whom you would be enabling. If you want to receive regularly and systematically, then give in the same way; sponsor a child in the developing world, volunteer regularly. Give in kind; systematic donations of money bring systematic income of money, etc. If your vibration is to give unselfishly and to receive with grace then you understand this Universal Law. When you experience the epitome of joy & gratitude from an act of giving, you understand. It’s Cause and Effect, Reap & Sow, Giving & Receiving.

To personalize and learn how to include “Echoing” in your own goal strategy, you can book a No-Cost Goal Strategy Session with me. Collaboration works wonders!

On the right sidebar of this page you can choose to sign on to receive my complementary twice-monthly publication, “Goal Postings”, for goal tips and catching up with Atma and me.

Keep on goaling!

I’m Lynn Moore, the Inspirational Goaling Coach

The Law of Non-Resistance ~ Responding Not Reacting

11 Pillars to Awesome Abundance ~  Part 8

This week brings you the eighth video in  the 11 Pillars series of Universal Laws in 90 second “nugget” form. 

The Law of Non Resistance or, as I like to call it, ‘Responding, not Reacting’.

Enjoy!

 Click Here to Play Video

 Transcript: The Law of Non-resistance (Responding, not Reacting)

Reacting is instinctive resistance, responding is thinking before reacting.

For example, by concentrating on ridding yourself of disorganization, you’re setting up resistance, friction; by concentrating on becoming organized, you are opening up the process, the natural flow. When you make the opening, the energy of organization comes. When you focus on the outcome you want instead of the obstacle in the way, the energy flows around the obstacle and keeps on going in the direction you have chosen for it; the thing you want.

Stop fighting disorganization (or whatever your obstacle is) and let organization flow toward you by expecting organization. When you quit fighting things like hate aimed at you and extend a kind thought to the hater, you disarm them, you rise to your highest good and their hate can’t affect you.

Mahatma Ghandi and Nelson Mandela are perfect example of responding, not reacting; Non-resistance.

To learn how to include “Responding, not Reacting” in your goal strategy, you can book a complimentary Goal Strategy Session with me. Collaboration works wonders!

On the right sidebar of this page you can choose to sign on to receive my complementary twice-monthly publication, “Goal Postings”, of goal tips and catch up with Atma and me.

Keep on goaling!

I’m Lynn Moore, the Inspirational Goaling Coach

Keep on goaling. I’m Lynn Moore the Inspirational Goaling Coach

The Law of Success ~ I Can

11 Pillars to Awesome Abundance ~  Part 7

This week brings you the seventh video in  the 11 Pillars series of Universal Laws in 90 second “nugget” form.

The Law of Success or, as I like to call it, ‘I Can’.

Enjoy!

 Click Here to Play Video

Transcript: The Law of Success ~ I Can

Success is bringing into being an idea you are passionate about, in other words, an ideal. You have all the ingredients for the recipe of success within you. You just need to learn the principles of cooking and the right method of putting the ingredients together and you have success.  Humans are wired to progress and when we don’t, we often experience what we may term ‘failures’. Failures are simply Universal feedback showing us where we need to self-correct in order to reach the culmination of the ideal we hold in our minds.  Success is also learning how to use our time and our thought, particularly the thought “I Can”.  Holding that one thought and capturing the feeling of that thought will develop in you the power that can. The “I” in you is the Spirit of Life and far greater than any condition or circumstance.

To learn how to include “I Can” in your goal strategy, you can book a complimentary Goal Strategy Session with me. Collaboration works wonders!

On the right sidebar of this page you can choose to sign on to receive my complementary twice-monthly publication, “Goal Postings”, of goal tips and catch up with Atma and me.

Keep on gaoling!

I’m Lynn Moore, the Inspirational Goaling Coach

The Law Of Compensation ~ Personal Responsibility

   11 Pillars to Awesome Abundance ~  Part 6

This week brings you the sixth video in  the 11 Pillars series of Universal Laws in 90 second “nugget” form.

The Law of Compensation or, as I like to call it, ‘Personal Responsibility’.

Enjoy!

 Click Here to Play Video

  Transcript:

The Law of Compensation(Personal Responsibility). Are you satisfied or dissatisfied with the results you are getting in your life? Most people are dissatisfied and play the blame game or just feel life happens TO them and not because of them. Personal growth is a choice and it begins with living your life by intelligent design and not onauto pilot. If you were looking at a movie screen of you in your life, what would you see? Are you happy with it? If not, simply change the picture. You have freedom of thought to do so. Squeeze out negative thinking (contraction) with positive thinking (expansion). Then everything changes; energies, what you are aware of, how you talk etc. You are creativity personified, rare and one of a kind.  The Universe has a rare purpose for you then gives you the freedom to fulfill it or not. You will receive in exact proportion to what you give; what you give in thought, words and action. You are free to decide, free to design and free to build. Keep on Goaling!

To learn how to take “Personal Responsibility” in your goal strategy, you can book a complimentary Goal Strategy Session with me. Collaboration works wonders!

On the right sidebar of this page you can choose to sign on to receive my complementary twice-monthly publication, “Goal Postings”, of goal tips and catch up with Atma and me.

Keep on gaoling!

I’m Lynn Moore, the Inspirational Goaling Coach

Law of Sacrifice ~ Releasing To Create Space

The 11 Pillars to Awesome Abundance ~ Part 5

This week brings you the fifth video in the 11 Pillars series of Universal Laws in 90 second “nugget” form.

The Law of Sacrifice or, as I like to call it, ‘Releasing To Create Space’.

Enjoy!

 Click Here to Play Video

 Transcript:

  Sacrifice: (Releasing to create space). When you give up (sacrifice) something of a lower nature you make room to receive something of a higher nature. So you do not lose, you gain. ie: give up TV time to train for a sport, study something that interests you, write a book, do some research, meditate, workout, anything that will bring you and your goal closer together.

When you make these kinds of choices, you take hold of the controls of your life.  You are no longer just a passenger along for the ride with no say in the destination yet complaining when you don’t end up where you want to be. Instead, you choose your destination, you map out the ride and you navigate the journey.  There is a price to pay when you take the controls, and that price is discipline. Discipline just means ‘you have taken control’, you have learned how and you are making the decisions. No matter what, you are always exchanging one thing for something else, one activity for another, etc and you might as well release what doesn’t serve you for something that does.

To learn how “Release to Create Space” with your goal strategy, you can book a complimentary Goal Strategy Session with me. Collaboration works wonders!

On the right sidebar of this page you can choose to sign on to receive my complementary twice-monthly publication of goal tips and catch up with Atma and me.

Keep on gaoling!

I’m Lynn Moore, the Inspirational Goaling Coach

Law of Increase ~ Praising Your Abundance

 

The 11 Pillars to Awesome Abundance ~ Part 4

This week brings you the fourth video in the 11 Pillars series of Universal Laws in 90 second “nugget” form. 

 The Law of Increase or, as I like to call it, ‘Praising Your Abundance’.

Enjoy!

 Click Here to Watch Video

Transcript:

The Law of Increase: (Praising your abundance) When you compliment and honor that which you want, it will increase in your life. We are always either expanding or contracting. When you speak well of the money that you now have it will expand. When you complain about it, it will contract. When a child is complemented and praised, she expands, becomes confident and secure; when a child is criticized she contracts into herself and becomes insecure.  Do you want more love, better health, better living conditions, business success? Then express thankfulness and speak highly of the love, health, living conditions and success you currently have. It’s like magic fertilizer for growth. Your body physically responds when you receive or give complements. Your cells actually become stronger, AND your own outlook becomes new. You now look for and see things to compliment and praise and in turn everything increases for you. To get what you want, praise what you have, that’s Inspirational Goaling.

Learn the Inspirational Goaling system and how to “Praise Your Abundance” in a complimentary Goal Strategy Session with me.

On the right sidebar of this website you can choose to sign on to receive my complementary twice-monthly publication of goal tips and catch up with Atma and me.

Keep on goaling. I’m Lynn Moore, the Inspirational Goaling Coach